Wedding Traditions: Religion

We're not religious, so there won't be any Holy Trinity getting married with us; it will be a totally secular ceremony.  In Christian weddings, for example, there is no marriage and indeed no recognized love that doesn't involve their deity.  In fact, there appears to be something of a five-way affair going on in the bed of the newlyweds—there's the bride, the groom, the father, the son, and the holy spirit.  That's too many people for us (the the bride is WAY outnumbered gender-wise).  We'll keep our marriage to just the two of us.

We've attended many Christian weddings, and very often during the ceremony the officiant maintains that "love is not a human emotion" ...that it's the love of a god we feel.  We couldn't disagree more.  Our love certainly isn't the imagined love of fictitious religious icons: we love each other, deeply and unconditionally, and without need for any sort of divine intervention.

Why mention this at all? Getting married is the most important thing to us. But we are marrying because we choose to be together—not because we feel any religious pressure, and certainly not having a religious ceremony just because others think we should.

Ultimately, getting married is the most important thing to us, but there are a lot of factors that are important and special to us as well. Having a ceremony, Elaine in a pretty dress, David in a tuxedo, having an elegant wedding party, exchanging rings... all of that is important to us because of what those things symbolize to us. As well, we want to share that special day with our family and friends, and proclaim our love before them—but not before a church or a deity.

We're doing this because we want to do it, and because we love each other, and without religion in any form. To us, that's the most important thing short of the actual act of getting married. We love each other unconditionally, and we don't need deities to have that love. We're dedicating our lives to each other, not to deities or religions. We choose to do all that we do at our wedding for no other reason than our firm resolve to be with each other forever. We want there to be no mistake that we are the people we are... and nothing interferes with that.

Disrespectful to Christianity? Not at all. We are no more getting married with God than we are to Allah or Zeus or Quetzalcoatl, so there is no disrespect intended. We wouldn't expect any of our Christian friends to have an Atheist wedding, after all. As for respect, most of the members of our wedding party are Christians, so that isn't an issue

Respect for our beliefs. We have attended many religious wedding of friends and family, as we respect the beliefs of those people. We have paid our respects and supported them in their marriages. We hope everyone will do the same for us. We hold nothing against our religious friends (indeed, nearly all members of our wedding party are religious) and hope you'll support us for the wonderful things our union represents: unconditional love and endless dedication to each other.