"All Things Lit" (January 2013)

The Cud's annual "All Things Lit" issue. Includes just one short story, a reprint of "A War of Cosmic Insignificance" (from Blood, Blade & Thruster, Winter 2007), along with an 8,700-word ebook reprint of "Hold Me Forever, Daddy" (from Brutarian #31, 2000).

• “A War of Cosmic Insignificance” – SF (Feghoot), 1,338 words

• “Hold Me Forever, Daddy” – horror, 8,700 words

"Love and Lust" (February 2013)

Yep, it gets a bit racy this month, just like last year. Don't read these stories if doing naughty things in the bedroom make you uncomfortable. Or if you don't like good ol' romance stories. With naughty things in the bedroom.

• “Hell Hath No Fury" - SF, 921 words

• "Alien Connection" - SF, 974 words

• "Eye of the Beholder" - fantasy, 1,022 words

Yep, it gets a bit racy this month, just like last year. Don't read these stories if doing naughty things in the bedroom make you uncomfortable. Or if you don't like good ol' romance stories. With naughty things in the bedroom.

• “Woodland Treasures” – fantasy, 664 words

• “Night Cobbler” – contemporary fantasy, 619 words

• “Cruel World” – contemporary fantasy, 806 words

• “Great Magic” – SF/fantasy, 858 words
   

This is not an April Fool's Day joke. We’re going to go through a few short-shorts about defecation. But as silly as the theme seems, I’m going to try to make the silly serious. This will work best if you’re reading this on a portable device and are comfortably seated on the throne.

• “All the Bad Shit” – fantasy, 700 words

• “This Guy’s a Real Piece of Shit” – SF, 832 words

• “But Mountains Don’t Shit” – SF, 880 words

• “That’s Some Tricky Shit” – fantasy, 972 words
   

Guns are big talk in the U.S., and certainly elsewhere. Here are six shorts about the right to bear arms... more or less.

• “The Right to Bear Arms” – SF (dystopian), 890 words

• “The Right to Arm Bears” – social SF, 123 words

• “The Right to Bare Arms” – SF (dystopian), 502 words

• “The Arms to Bear, Right?” – SF (dystopian), 415 words

• “The Right Arms to Bear” – SF, 288 words

• “The Rite to Bear Arms” – SF, 936 words

This month marks the 100th issue of The Cud.

We’ll start with “100 Seconds… of 100-Word Tales”—seven flash-fiction stories, each 100 words long, the entire bit readable in 100 seconds. The theme: magical items, for that’s what The Cud truly is. (Let’s see if that gets my contract renewed for another year.) Plus, for those who think the flash fiction here isn’t flash enough (even the 200-word stories last year), perhaps this will fill the bill.

Then, in honor of The Cud’s monthly publication schedule, we’ll have a story consisting of 12 monthly mini-chapters: “100 Years Never Known.”

• “100 Seconds… of 100-Word Tales” – 700 words

• “100 Years Never Known” – 2,281 words
   

 In 1999, an article in Astronomy magazine listed the Seven Wonders of the Solar System. They truly are wondrous, and serve as this month’s theme. (There’s one rerun from last year—the one about the Sun—but it just fits so perfectly.)

• “Icy Prison” – SF, 839 words
• “Seeing Spots” – SF, 572 words
• "Eye of the Beholder" - SF, 450 words
• “Why Are We Walking on the Sun?” – SF, 594 words
• “Foresight” – SF, 500 words

• “One More Ring” – SF, 437 words

• “The Insanity of Worship” – SF, 347 words
   

• “Don't Need Snakes" - non-spec-fic, 1,180 words

Occasionally people who aren’t into speculative fiction ask me if I’ll ever do something that isn’t science fiction, fantasy, or supernatural horror in this column. But I have, on occasion, and we’ll go that route again. And since it’s nearly autumn—which we often call "fall" in the U.S. and Canada—here’s a "fall" story.

• “Special Guests" - suspense, 2,932 words

Yep, it gets a bit racy this month, just like last year. Don't read these stories if doing naughty things in the bedroom make you uncomfortable. Or if you don't like good ol' romance stories. With naughty things in the bedroom.

• “Post Mortal Syndrome” – horror, 100 words

• “Herman Aphrodite” – horror, 553 words

• “Not So Bad” – horror, 637 words

• “The Twilight Zone” – horror, 810 words

• “Ghosts in the House” – horror, 829 words

Each November, the editor, Evan Kanarakis, does a "best of" edition from the current year, so there is no Cud Flashes in the Pan in November.
 

Happy holidays.

• “A Magical Gift" - fantasy, 2,755 words